Friday, December 14, 2012

My heart is breaking

I honestly feel sick to my stomach.
I had a rough morning. A was up a couple times early this morning, J was up at 5:45. I was ticked because I had to clean up three bags of MegaBloks. J was running around, screaming, not listening, refusing to get dressed, just being a toddler. I lost my temper once or twice with him and almost banished him back to his bed.
The shooting in Connecticut has made me rethink my entire morning.
You have no idea how much I want to run upstairs, grab him out of his crib and hug him. Hug him, kiss him, snuggle him and play whatever games he wants (even if it is dumping out all of the MegaBloks).
I have no idea how those parents and family members are feeling right now, nor do I ever want to have that feeling.
This hits me in multiple ways.
First, as a mother. I couldn't imagine dropping off the boys at school and finding out this tragic news. I honestly don't know how I'd be able to function after finding out that news. My heart is breaking for those mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents and the rest of the families.
Second, as a teacher. I see it as my duty to keep my students safe when they are in my classroom. Their parents trust me to uphold the same duty of care that they provide to their children. I can't imagine what the staff at the school is going to go through. My heart is breaking for them.
I feel horrible for the shooter's mother. Not only did she lose her life and her son's life, she couldn't protect her students. Those precious little children who come to school every morning excited to learn. My heart is breaking for her and her family.
Lastly, as a human being. I cannot believe someone would do this. Yes, I understand people are sick but I never thought someone would be this sick. They were little children. They were innocent. They didn't deserve it.
I will be hugging these two a little tighter tonight.

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